Peace: The New Way of Living

As many of you know, I am a server in the food service industry. Many of my fb statuses and twitter tweets are of the silly things I experience at work. To some, it may seem like I am unhappy with my job. Please do not misinterpret me based on some of the things I might chat about. Yes a lot of what goes on at work can at times be frustrating, but in the grand scheme of things, I am happy with my job. I make good money, my hours are wonderful and honestly I truly enjoy doing what I do. I've been doing this thing off and on (mostly on) for about the last seven years. I have experienced countless individuals throughout the years, some of which I will never ever forget, much like a group of women I served this evening. Now, I must admit that I some times prejudge my tables, based on what they look like and how they are interacting with each other, with the front-desk host, or whatever variables I can see prior to me approaching the tables. It's almost like a sixth sense, and quite honestly, I am usually never wrong. Now when I say "prejudge," I mean just that pre...judge. Not always a racial thing, but sometimes has every thing to do with race. Well, tonight, my last table of the evening, I had a group of 4 black women. None of them had wedding bands on, they weren't poorly dressed, they weren't impeccably dressed either. Just average looking middle-age women. Now in my mind I'm thinking to myself "oh lord, these ladies are about to runnnn me." I only said that because I recognized one of the women from being in the restaurant several times in the past. So I wait on the ladies, in my laid back, care free cool attitude. And just like I thought, these ladies ran me thin. I knew immediately that they were church-goers because of the way they dressed and the plainness and modesty of their hair and makeup. The whole time they were there, they were going on and on about The Kingdom, and what God was calling for etc. Church Church Church. Later I found out eavesdropping, that they were all ordained ministers. They kept commenting how much they loved my service and how cool I was amid all their neediness (lip service). They had some of the most unusual requests, even up until the end, when they informed me it was one of their birthday and they demanded I sing the birthday song solo, because as they say, "you look like you can sing." Now at this point, they had already been with me for 2 whole hours (average visit is around 60mins). They had already sent one entree back to the kitchen (having not even tasted it), ran me around the restaurant to see which tea urn had the sweetest sweet tea ("We like that ghetto tea!" [no lie, this is what they said to me]), took pictures of them, demanded more bread, shoved dirty plates and cups in direction. Just know they worked the heck out of me. After their dessert orders were in, their bill was up to $120, not including the $16.95 entree that had been comp'd from their bill. I could have easily brushed off the solo request and moved along, but I felt like being nice. In my 7 years of serving, I have NEVER EVER sang to anyone without of group of co-workers, but I decided to bite the bullet and go with it. I gave them my nicest, churchiest Happy Birthday Song, runs and all. They loved it. When it came time to pay, (3 hrs later), they informed me of how to seperate the bills. I cashed them out as soon as I could, and even after that, they stayed around for about 30mins. I finally was ready for them to go, and wanted them to kindly know that. I started removing everything from the tables, napkins, silverware, half empty watered down sweet tea glasses. Finally they got the picture and decided to move their conversation outside to a bench by the fountain. I collected up the check books and much to my dismay, they had managed to scrape together five wrinkly lifeless one-dollar bills. $120 spent and only $5.00 as a tip, less than 5%. Certainly not indicative of receiving the great, always smiling service. I was offended and insulted. I was so upset that my hands started shaking (thats how you know I'm REALLY mad). Bad tips are not foreign, so why had this one upset me so much? I had decided that I would march out of the restaurant, find them on their bench and hand them their money back. I had my speech and everything premeditated. I would simply hand one of them the singles and say "Ladies, leaving $5 is good for a $25 bill, but it's insulting to come to a restaurant, stay over 3 hrs, run the server ragged and then leave the $5 on a $120 bill, have a nice night." I finished my closing side work, took off my shirt and tie, clocked out and proceeded out of the front door. I only disrobed and clocked out so that if they did try and complain in retaliation, the tip-return and mini lecture had not happened on the clock or in my uniform and off restaurant property, so there would be little my superiors could do to reprimand me. I had my work shirt in one hand, and those same tired singles in my other hand. I was ready. As I walked closer and closer to them, I froze up and nothing could come out of my mouth. I kept walking pass them, and I could hear one say, "Oh thats why he was rushing us so much, he was ready to leave." I heard a strong voice in my mind say, "It's a new way of living. You're a new man. Let peace rule." I heard that voice as clear as day. I then heard the voice of my former manager Kathleen Murphy, "These people have the right to come in here and leave you $100 as a tip or zero dollars as a tip. Just because they show themselves to have no class doesn't mean we stoop to their level." Those words came from Kathy back in 2005 when I served at Red Lobster in Ann Arbor, MI. Kathy had just got done lecturing me for giving a guest their tip back. A lady gave me $2 and some change on a $90 bill. I returned the the $2-something to her and she said "Oh no baby, that's for you." I looked her square in her face and said "Nah, I'm good." The lady had the nerve to tell Kathy she was insulted by my actions. SHE was insulted. LOL. That was a terminable offense at Red Lobster, but Kathy liked me so she slapped me on my wrist and lectured me. I've said all of this to say that actions don't always require you to counter them with a reaction. Sometimes silence/peace is the best medicine to an offense. I told you all now that I've hit 25, I really do feel like I am in a new chapter. Others have remarked that I alot more quiet and reserved these days and I even notice a change in the way I respond to things. I do feel like a new man. Peace is such a beautiful thing. Thank God for maturing me. There was a day when I felt I had to address everything in my own way, but I've lived long enough to know that you don't have to respond to everything. Sometimes silence is the best remedy. Peace yall.